…because “Shopkins” is copyrighted.

So here I am, over a month, drunk off my stupid ass, and absolutely nothing to show until now.  I’m sure my drunk mind has some sort of totally rad social commentary to preach with this one, but hell if I feel like trying to decipher exactly what that might be right now.  Without further ado, I present my latest drunken digital scribble:

“Shopchin” – a Drunken commentary of some sort of undetermined significance…or not…

That thing the swollen-eyed creature is holding is a jelly-dick.  After that I am kind of uncertain just where in the fuck I was going with this.  Something about capitalism or whatever in the fuck is the hot topic I’m sure.  Be impressed though..I’m certain there’s a totally brilliant idea behind this one…


Cthulhu! Excuse me…

Well, it’s been over a month and I hope you’ve all had enough time to learn your lessons: you can’t trust me to keep any kind of deadline when it comes to drawing.  The following is a sketch I started while sitting in front of the tv with a good friend watching movie after movie.  I have been trying to be more active lately and accomplish more than just watching movies and playing games, so to avoid the inevitable guilt following such a bout of sloth, I decided to break out my Cintiq Companion and scribble up a quick Cthulhu.  Normally these mindless sketches are unfinished and deleted before powering down the computer, but as I didn’t totally hate how it was turning out, and seeing as I desperately needed something to put on this blog, I decided to finish it, sign it, and glue it to the interweb so I can appear slightly less lazy than I have been lately.

"Cthulhu" - A "sitting on my ass in front of the tv watching movie after movie with a friend" justification sketch.
“Cthulhu” – A “sitting on my ass in front of the tv watching movie after movie with a friend” justification sketch.

I have a pretty large amount of work doing some illustrations for my aforementioned friend (the one that isn’t imaginary) that I have agreed to, thus I have expectations and guidelines that actually mean something and are not self-imposed.  I’m hoping that means more productivity on my end which will result in more frequent posts.  I hope to be back very soon. Time will tell…


“Turbo Kid” was the tits!

Fungi Jones is a Creep

Here is something I had been working on in the scarce free time I’ve had over the past few days.  It started as a series of quick doodles on my Wacom Cintiq while lounging sloth-like on my couch; the typical dumb eyeball, some kind of strange blue fleshy pod, and some stupid-ass squiggles.  For whatever reason I decided to just keep going with it and turn it into a single complete piece.  As it was completely random and my attention was divided between it and the television, and I had absolutely no idea where it was going to go, it is far more spontaneous than my last few pieces – I believe that spontaneity might be its saving grace

"Fungi Jones is a Creep" - A random bullshit doodle gone too far.
“Fungi Jones is a Creep” – A random bullshit doodle gone too far.

In all honesty it felt very good working on something with absolutely no idea where it would take me.  This was something I used to do all the time, and began shying away from over the years for some reason I can’t even think of.  I plan to do this sort of thing more often and can only hope that people dig the results.

Thanks for looking and I hope to be back very soon!


Attention Little Ones! This Guy is Probably Hiding in Your Room!!!

Here I am again and less than a week since the last post!  I actually had a good time making “Pissy Wizard” – I’m assuming because I treated it as more of a random sketch where I didn’t need to worry about accuracy or using references or any of that other stuff that might be construed as preparation.  There’s something to say for complete spontaneity.  I had some free time today on my day off and decided to go for it again.  This time I plucked the very first idea that came to my head and ran with it.  My first idea was actually the title of this picture “Attention Little Ones! This Guy is Probably Hiding in Your Room!!!” There’s something inherently amusing to me about scaring the shit out of little kids.  With that in mind I came up with this:

"Attention Little Ones! This Guy is Probably Hiding in Your Room" - Just something random I whipped up in Corel Painter made to waste precious free time.
“Attention Little Ones! This Guy is Probably Hiding in Your Room” – Just something random I whipped up in Corel Painter made to waste precious free time.

Not sure when I’ll be back on here, but I’ll try like hell to make it soon.  I’ve got a lot of shit in my head screaming like spastic crackheads to come out.  Thanks for viewing!

Pissy Wizard

As promised, (because every so often I do keep my promises…) here is something new and original:

"Pissy Wizard" - a random sketch based on a short story idea I am dicking around with.
“Pissy Wizard” – a random sketch based on a short story idea I am dicking around with.

So unlike most of my current crap that has shown up on here, I went back to my old ways and used absolutely no reference for this.  My goal was to create a slight caricature version of an evil wizard while maintaining the ultra-sexy vivid blue hat with dumb-ass stars all over it.  Dumb-ass stars on pointed wizard hats are fucking funny.

This guy started as a prop in the ultra-childish game I like to play with people who won’t report me for harassment.  In the game I think of two totally horrible things that no one should ever want to do, and tell them they have to pick one.  Of course, they always try to use some stupid logic to ruin the game so they won’t have to make a choice.  For example, I ask “If you had to do one of these two things, which would you pick? Would you beat 50 wide-eyed puppies over the head with a tiny hammer until each was dead, or would you press a button that would kill one 80 year old random person in the world with no one ever being the wiser?”  The people I play with are dicks, so they say something dickish like “I would kill myself so the choice doesn’t have to be made.” or “I would call the cops because I am a shitty person with no willingness to play Todd’s awesome game.”  This is where I bring the wizard in.  He holds their loved ones in a magical and invisible cloud and will slowly butcher every goddamned one of them if any bullshittery is attempted.  When inevitably asked by my crappy friends why a great powerful wizard like that would waste his time forcing people to make terrible choices for no apparent gain, I decided it is simply because wizards are bored, and more importantly, wizards are real assholes.

Of course this led to more elaborations in my head of the wizard’s origins.  One day, time permitting, I hope to write a few of these down.  For now, however, I am happy to have finally captured his likeness so my shitty butthole friends know exactly who their indecisiveness is offending when ol’ Todd wants to play a fucking game.

The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe REDUXE Edition: Mekkans, Mephitisoids, M’Ndavians, and Mobians

Well, as promised so very long ago, right at the very last minute before the deadline (because procrastination is swell), my entry for The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe REDUXE Edition.  I had the following alien races: Mekkans, Mephitisoids, M’Ndavians, and Mobians.  These were a fucking thorn in my side for a very long time and each had about 2.7 billion false-starts.

Marvel Aliens Redux - A great reminder why I don't like drawing people.
Marvel Aliens Redux – A great reminder why I don’t like drawing people.

I know, not much to show for all of the time I had to work on this, but at this point I am just happy to have finally finished it. Now that this plate is clear I can hopefully find some energy to do something original.  Speaking of original, here’s what that was based on:

Alien Race - a page out of the original Marvel Handbook with my chosen characters to "redux"
Alien Race – a page out of the original Marvel Handbook with my chosen characters to “redux”

I hope to be back on here soon with some sort of redemption.  Thanks for looking!

Flesh Tree

Here’s one of those things I started on a whim a while back then ran out of steam.  I figured I’d knock a few unfinished things off the list so I can focus on my next gazillion and 3/4 projects.

I’m not sure how I feel about this one.  If it appears rushed and amateurish that’s only because it is.  Still, there’s something in the concept I may very well revisit.  Humans are disgusting concoctions with some truly foul ingredients.  I thought it’d be funny to rebuild a shitty cliche landscape with some of these ingredients, and this is what I came up with:

Flesh Tree - because we're fucking gross
Flesh Tree – because we’re fucking gross

I will be back soon with those Marvel Handbook entries I mentioned in an earlier post as the deadline is fast-approaching.  Thanks for viewing!

Yoda Yoda Yoda…

Well, so much for semi-regular posts.  A billion things going on and a scarcity of time.  On the plus side though, there’s no shortage of projects on the burner, so with time and motivation at least I won’t be staring slack-jawed at the wall any more than usual!

“Yoda” – Ebony pencil and white Prismacolor colored pencil on gray-toned paper. Made for a friend.

This sick little puppy is based on some obscure Muppety mystic bastard from some unknown science fiction film…maybe “Shartnado 6: Molly Ringworm’s Firecrotch” or some shit like that?  Anyways, I believe this character was played by Kevin Spacey before he died, but I may be wrong.

I have a friend who took my poor ass to see the new Mad Max movie, and I had some new gray toned paper, so I decided to break out an ebony pencil and a white Prismacolor and shamelessly copy this creation from George Lopez’s cherished universe as a really shitty thank you to him.  He likes these scientifically accurate history flicks.

I REALLY hope to have another posting on here in the very near future.

Second Childhood – “Devil”

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  I’m currently balls deep in a large elaborate colored pencil piece which is taking WAY longer than I had hoped, so I figured I’d take a quick break and finish something I started 32 years ago back in 1983:

"Devil 2015" - Drawn with pencil on scrap paper in 1983.  Finished in Corel Painter in 2015.
“Devil 2015” – Drawn with pencil on scrap paper in 1983. Finished in Corel Painter in 2015.
And the original:

"Devil 1983" - Apparently at the ripe age of 7 I pretty much figured out what my favorite genre was.
“Devil 1983” – Apparently at the ripe age of 7 I pretty much figured out what my favorite genre was.
I consider myself extremely lucky to have parents with an appreciation for art.  My mother is an artist and my dad is a published writer.  Together they were very encouraging and supportive for anything related to creativity.  I am even luckier that they horded every bit of art my brothers sisters and I made and filed it all away for us.  I recently got this idea in my head (the idea undoubtedly plagiarized by something I most likely saw on the interwebs ages ago) to sort through the three fat folders of artwork I made way too long ago when I was young and “finish” some of my favorite ones.  I found five great candidates and this little horny bastard is the first.

The only rules I set for myself in doing this are as follows:

  1. The colorized “finished” picture must use the vast majority of the original lines of the scanned artwork and must be used as they were placed.
  2. I can add to lines and create details and features that were not present in the original, but can remove nothing that is obviously intentionally placed.
  3. The “finished” version still has to have the same “spirit” that my younger self intended when first drawing it.

Hopefully I am onto something that people besides myself find amusing and interesting.  There will be more in time.  Now back to that fucking colored pencil time-hog…